As well-known speakers on the issue of eldercare, my partner and I are involved in many vital and meaningful discussions around aging population. What we’ve discovered is that sometimes the issues around our elderly are vast and complicated (like Medicare and the Healthcare Reform Act) – and sometimes the issues that touch the aging most intimately are the simplest things. One of those simple issues is TOUCH. We hear about touch as a medium for healing in so many arenas of life – in premature infants, seriously ill and even terminally ill patients.

As advocates of for healthy, wonderful resources in eldercare, eCareDiary hopes to move this conversation to the top of the list for the aging population. As a society, we may be powerless over many issues facing our aging parents and grandparents, but this is ONE thing that we can simply and easily bring back into their lives.  It is only a question of awareness.

Why? The reasons our aging population grow physically more and more isolated are vast. To begin with, it’s common that they will have lost those who were closest to them – their spouses, best friends, siblings – in some cases, even their children. It’s also possible that we, as care providers, are so conscious of being aware of their frailty, that we go too far – hardly touching them at all. Even hugging them from an invisible half-inch boundary becomes our norm.

What to do. There are so many simple ways to reengage ourselves with the elderly population. For daughters, granddaughters and female care providers, sometimes the simple act of providing a manicure or pedicure is a restorative physical connection. For myself, the opportunity to shave my dad was always a fond intimacy between us – and a way for him to feel good about himself.

What are the benefits. According to the Touch Research Institute, elderly massage is one of the most useful treatments for all levels of Alzheimer's patients. It’s been shown to facilitate relaxation and even communication. Touch can also greatly assist in pain management and can also create an increase in strength and muscle awareness. (And all things being connected, this can help the elderly population to avoid falls and other injuries, simply because their bodies grow weaker or less self-aware over time.)

Finally, touch can also have a profoundly calming effect – which can help the patient to deal with medical and lifestyle interventions much more easily and in a way that is more deeply connected to their loved ones and care providers. In short, touch can be a bridge that breaks their isolation. This is even more true when the patient may have lost their verbal abilities for one or more reasons.

As our patients and loved ones move into their golden – and even their platinum years, bringing the intimacy and caring of touch back into their lives – and even into OUR lives – is a strong and powerful connection that we should definitely not overlook. After all, even the powerful healing of a simple hug can make all the difference in a person’s day.

John Mills, Co-Founder of eCareDiary
http://www.eCareDiary.com

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PS:  If you are care provider, please feel free to reach out to us to get your organization and your patients set up – eCareDiary is a powerful tool, and we’re here to support you, your patients and their loved ones.

Editor’s Note:  This article was originally posted on Caring for Our Parents.

The new health law creates, for the first time, a national, voluntary long-term care insurance system called the Community Living Assistance Services and Supports (CLASS) Act. Participation will be optional, but if you enroll, you'll get a basic cash benefit for life to help pay for personal assistance if you are disabled or very frail and unable to care for yourself. Here is how CLASS will work:

How Will I Enroll?

The insurance probably won't be available until at least 2012. Once policies are on the market, you may be able to sign up through your work. If your employer agrees to offer CLASS, you'll be automatically enrolled starting at age 18 unless you choose to decline coverage. If you do opt-out, you'll still be able to buy in later, although your premiums will be higher.

Rita Dichele holds Masters’ degrees in Counseling and Healthcare Administration. Currently, she is an advanced doctoral learner at Capella University where she is writing her dissertation on successful aging. Rita resides in Shrewsbury, Massachusetts and serves as a board member on the Council on Aging. She is a town appointee for the Shrewsbury Cultural Council, facilitates two groups at the Shrewsbury Senior Center, and is a certified SHINE Medicare/Medicaid counselor. Rita is also a past presenter at the 2009 American Society on Aging Conference.

Aging is the process of growth and movement as we progress through each stage of life.  The interesting concept of aging is that each of us ages chronically, but emotionally and physically we age in our own unique ways.  For instance, one person may suffer physical hardship related to illness and disease because of an immune system that has been predisposed by genetic makeup, lifestyle habits, and environmental conditions.

Unfortunately, many older persons are subjected to myths about aging that often create detours to age successfully.

In 1975 Pulitzer Prize winner Dr. Robert N. Butler authored the book titled, Why Survive?  Being Old in America in which he describes the negative attitude regarding the aging process.  Dr. Butler referred to any negative attitude toward the aged as “ageism” which he considered was consistent with other types of discriminating and stereotyping of people such as “sexism” and “racism”. Dr. Butler suggested that ageism is perpetuated from one generation to the next because of aphorisms such as “You can’t teach an old dog new tricks.”

Subsequent to Dr. Butler’s research, stereotyping of the elderly has evolved to a level of erroneous stereotyping that has been heightened, for example, by the mass  media, especially by television and movies made in the 1970’s and 1980’s.  Moreover, literary accounts of the elderly have portrayed ageist attitudes that preempt elderly capabilities to be productive individuals who are able to age successfully. 

Notwithstanding previous portrayals of the elderly, a new image of the older individual has emerged.  Because many of the famous actors are aging such as Jack Nicholson, Robert Redford, Sally Fields, Diane Keaton, characters in the movies are now being depicted as characters that are aging successfully.   Thus, as a result new stereotyping is being generated that focuses less on ageist attitudes.

But nevertheless, there does exist today many myths about aging that are often perceived by the public at large as absolute truths, thus causing many to believe that aging invariably can lead to a future in which one disengages from the mainstream community. Perhaps individual acceptance of certain myths may take the mystery out of why so many older persons experience depression, substance abuse, and isolation.

Furthermore, in many instances later life can be less stressful.  Unfortunately, members of our society perceive the elderly through stereotype lenses that suggest that as we age, we decline and live out our lives vulnerable to the vicissitudes of time.  The problems of the widowed, those living alone, and certain minorities are often exaggerated inferring that older persons are troubled by later life stresses.  This concept can often add to the typical stereotype of the older individual who is at risk of living the rest of his/her life to the fullest. 

Current research conducted by gerontologists, individuals who study the elderly, suggests that aging is something to look forward to, dispelling common myths about aging.  In fact much is being written about how older individuals are more resilient than their younger counterparts.  Also, older individuals are more able to sustain lifestyles that are consistent with their previous days such as active sexual relations, living independently in their own homes, continued capabilities to make informed decisions, and cognitively able to process information and learn “new tricks”. 

Furthermore, most older persons no longer live in poverty despite living on a fixed income.  For instance, the creation of Social Security, Medicare, Medicaid, Food Stamps, and Supplemental Security Income can remove economic hardships once a widespread problem with older individuals.

And finally, old age is a period of greater adaptation because older individuals are able to assimilate into their lifestyles more changes than younger individuals.  For instance, older individuals are able to reconcile change because earlier life experiences have prepared them for the uncertainties of life. Decisions made early on will affect the lifestyle choices in later life.

In conclusion, statements made to the contrary places older individuals at risk to living out a life in a compromised manner and in many instances causing some individuals to have to adjust to a lifestyle that just does not have to occur. Future predictions of the baby boomers monopolizing the older generation should provide hope to older people that those misguided myths about aging will dissipate.  Thus, ageist attitudes will no longer be present and will yield to stereotyping that has replaced old stereotyping which historically has contributed to myths of aging successfully.  Therefore, the real truth regarding aging successfully can be appropriately validated.

Caring for Dementia Patients Is Stressful and Isolating – A study from Pennsylvania State University found that caregivers of dementia patients were highly stressed and more likely to suffer from depression and potential mental breakdowns.

New Alzheimer’s Vaccine To Be Tested in Europe – A vaccine developed by Austrian biotechnology company Affiris will be tested in 6 European countries with 420 participants in the trial. The vaccine works by attacking the plaque which is known to cause Alzheimer’s disease.

Domestic Robot May Help Seniors Live Independently – European researchers are linking domestic robots with smart homes fitted with sensors and monitoring devices in an effort to help seniors live independently longer.

New Blood Test Could Help Tailor Treatments for Rheumatoid Arthritis – A simple blood test can help identify which immune system antibodies can be used to treat suffers of Rheumatoid Arthritis.

Laurel Kennedy is a nationally-recognized expert on Boomer issues. Founder of the multi-generational consulting firm Age Lessons, she has worked as a senior executive with Edelman Worldwide and Ketchum for clients like Kraft, Kellogg, Pepsi and Sara Lee. Kennedy has appeared on national and syndicated television including CNBC and Comcast TV, testified as an expert witness in Superior Court, and keynoted numerous industry and professional groups. She has won dozens of awards for her work, including several National Tellys, Addys and Silver Anvils. For more information on elder care, visit www.daughtertrap.com.

Bet you wish there was more of you, and your day, to go around. That’s how most Boomer women feel these days, sandwiched between the constant and conflicting demands of a meaningful career, raising young children still in school, supporting adult children who can’t find a job, struggling to maintain a relationship with their significant other, and suddenly, taking on the responsibility for aging parents.

Note that in the scenario above, there is no time budgeted for “me time”, those brief breaks in routine and small indulgences like a good workout, a facial, or a mani-pedi that can keep us sane and help us recharge. It’s easy to fall into the trap of sacrificing yourself to care for others. But remember, if you lose your sanity or your savings, you’ll be no good to anyone.

As any family with a loved one who is “aging in home” probably knows, finding home health aides who are not only qualified, but also passionate about their work is not easy. There are many, many variables that come into play – after all, this person has access to your home, your family, and your precious parent or grandparent. 

To make matters more difficult, your loved one has quite possibly lost their ability to advocate for themselves. So the home health aide you choose MUST be well above board. 

I faced these issues over and over again, as we chose – and UNchose – almost a dozen home health aides while caring for my father. Although we finally found a wonderful person to help us, trodding through agencies and aides not only affected our careers and schedules every day – it made it almost impossible to do the basics of life. Even going to work or getting out to buy groceries became a measure in frustration when the home health aide didn’t show up or wasn’t the person we’d planned on.

And that’s not even touching on how confusing it is to the patient themselves. This issue filled our whole family with stress and worry – after all, this was our precious dad. the one who had been there every day of my husband’s life. How could we entrust his care, at the most vulnerable time in his life, to the wrong person?

There are some important criteria to keep in mind when you’re looking for a home health aide and agency. There are certifications and professional trainings that you should be aware of. We have attached a list of 10 criteria and questions to keep in mind at the end of this article.

But the OTHER qualifications – the human side of someone… definitely take the time and be sure that your care provider has the qualities that are most important to you and your family.  Sit with everyone in your household and ask them what those are. Remember that the extra time you put into this process at the beginning can save you countless hours of frustration and disappointment down the road.

10 Criteria for Choosing a Home Health Aide

Once you acquire the names of several providers, which you can do on our website under the CARE PROVIDER feature, you will want to learn more about their services and reputations. Here are 10 questions to consider as you make your decision:

There were some things that came as a total surprise to me as a care provider. It probably goes without saying that they shouldn’t have, but the reality of being a caregiver is so far different than what we “think” or envision. After he got sick, the reality of helping my Father-in-Law simply get from one place to another wasn’t something anyone ever explained to me.

To support him gently, so that in public, it simply looked as though we were arm in arm – to quietly stop every twenty feet or so just so he could catch his breath – to take anything that needed to be carried into MY arms, so there was never an embarrassing moment for him … those were the unspoken things between us. THOSE moments probably did more to keep Ken’s dignity and to build intimacy between us than the time I knew him before he got worse.

Those moments said so much more than a peck on his cheek or a new shirt for his birthday. They were the gift of being present for someone right where they are in life. For me, it wasn’t really a gift to HIM though – for me, this was always his gift to me. To allow me into his heart – into the embarrassing, frightening day-to-day experiences of entering advanced aging and becoming ill.

So today, I write this article for all of the care providers out there. For the moments when we haven’t had a second to ourselves all day long. For the days when our top priority is getting the taxi or ambulette to help us bring our loved one to the doctor. When chores that we think will take an hour eat up an entire afternoon. For THOSE days, I write this to encourage all of us to see the privilege it is to love someone and care for them and honor them in a thousand silent, secret ways. In ways that they cannot thank you for. When a humble look of recognition is all there CAN be between you. 

And for what it’s worth – I want to say that we’re a BIG village – and a growing one. The aging process is complicated and full of questions and difficulties. At eCareDiary, we are here to support you all in every way we can embrace and invent.  Our Care Diary is cost free and exists as a secure, comprehensive tool to help you organize your loved one’s medical appointments and activities AND to share those with everyone you need to among your family and friends. 

I celebrate you all today, and if our Dad can see my blog from heaven, hi Ken. I miss you.

Susan Baida, Co-Founder of eCareDiary
http://www.eCareDiary.com

PS:  If you are involved in a care facility, please feel free to reach out to us to get your organization and your patients set up – eCareDiary is a powerful tool, and we’re here to support you, your patients and their loved ones.

A few weeks ago President Obama signed into law a new healthcare reform bill which will expand health insurance coverage for 32 million people who are currently uninsured.  This law will be phased in over the next decade but it offers a lot to help family caregivers both in the short term and the long term.

The benefits of the law fall into two categories – provisions which help the care recipient through Medicare and other public programs and those that help the caregiver through expanded health insurance coverage and better consumer protections.  The biggest advantages to care recipients come through better coverage under the Medicare prescription drug program and through expanded health insurance options for pre-Medicare retirees.

Family caregivers will see their biggest benefits come from the fact that health insurance will begin to be de-coupled from employment starting in 2014.  Many family caregivers face the difficult choice of whether to stay employed and hire professional caregivers to look after their loved ones or to leave their jobs and care for them full time.  This decision is made more difficult by the fact that people who leave their jobs risk losing the health insurance benefits that go with them.  By providing new health coverage options and subsidies to help pay for them, family caregivers will have one less thing to worry about when making these difficult choices.

A new and useful publication to help people plan for long term care was released this week.  The Guide to Legal and Financial Planning Needs of Seniors by Homewatch CareGivers was produced to help educate a growing community of Americans needing long-term care, and more specifically the generation of baby boomers approaching retirement, who are running out of time to get their financial and legal issues in order before needing long-term care themselves.

The baby boomer generation, in many circles, has evolved into ‘the sandwich generation’ by having their income’s and savings accounts tugged at from each end thanks to elder parents needing expensive, long-term care, and college-aged, or adult children still feeding from the trough.

By 2020, baby boomers will swell the senior population from 39 million to 53 million, according to the Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services (CMS), which means one in six Americans will be a senior!

The Guide to Legal and Financial Planning Needs of Seniors offers information on the following critical areas of focus for those concerned about the future:

Margery Pabst is the co-author of Enrich Your Caregiving Journey (Expert Publishing, February 2009) and is a national speaker and facilitator. Learn more about Margery and her book at www.pivotalcrossings.com.

Our use of language has a critical effect on our emotional lives. We can credit our emotional bank accounts with positive words about ourselves and others, or we can think and talk in negatives that tarnish our present life and diminish our future. Roger Rosenblatt says, "Write with grace rather than pain". For those who aren’t writers, these words can easily be applied to how we speak and think. "Speak and think with grace rather than pain" is a mantra to consider when caregiving. ‘Grace’ suggests looking at ourselves and others through the prism of positive purpose and while ‘pain’ denotes wallowing in all the negatives life has thrown us and allowing ourselves to be victims of every circumstance.

How we speak and think about ourselves and others will create ‘grace’ or ‘pain’ in our lives. Furthermore, the words we choose are crucial to our emotional and physical health.

So how can we focus on positive, graceful words and shift from negative, painful ones?

FIRST, we must LISTEN TO OURSELVES. What is the nature of our thoughts? What exactly are we saying to others, particularly our children? Are there hints of negativity or blatant comments about hypothetical, tragic events to come? SELF-AWARENESS is especially critical for the CAREGIVER.

I’ve caught myself saying things like, "Well, Murphy’s Law will probably be true. If there’s a possibility of something going wrong, it will." Sound familiar? By saying these words, your negative expectation and intention is out there, and your behavior may be affected, so you will actually do things that make your negative statement come true.

For example, if the caregiver says, "Jim always has a hard time getting his pills down", Jim will always have a hard time with his pills. He will meet your expectations and your behavior will suggest through body language and speech that you are ready for the difficulty at hand. When Jim has difficulty and his emotions rise, yours will too and in the process, a DEBIT TO YOUR EMOTIONAL BANK ACCOUNT WILL OCCUR.

SECOND, we must make a shift in our thoughts and language. Creating a shift will bring more honor and respect to our caregiving. Let’s review some examples of making a shift from negative debits to positive credits in our thoughts, speech, and emotional bank accounts: