http://www.ecarediary.com/ecarediary-comment-rss.aspxRecent Comments on eCare Diary Blogs.Copyright eCare Diary, LLC 2009. All Rights Reserved.Great article. Thanks for sharing this valuable information. Susan Avellohttp://www.ecarediary.com/viewblog.aspx?BlogID=296#aComment54Wed, 08 Sep 2010 16:04:12 GMTThe hardest thing about care giving is going on and on because "we know we can do it."&nbsp; All of a sudden, we just can't do it any more.&nbsp; After my mother died, I learned that my autoimmune system was a total mess.&nbsp; I went on and on while she was alive, but my body knew I couldn't keep going.&nbsp; It was getting ready to stop me.&nbsp; Even caregivers that seem to manage it all are doing super human tasks.&nbsp; Thanks for some great insights.<br /> <br /> Katherine Askew<br /> www.TheNewElder.com<br /> Katherine Askewhttp://www.ecarediary.com/viewblog.aspx?BlogID=282#aComment53Fri, 20 Aug 2010 14:50:12 GMTThank you for your comment, Howard.  It will be fascinating to see how this all evolves for Steven Slater.  7 years seems pretty harsh for what he did, but I can imagine the jury having some empathy for his situation. Susan Baidahttp://www.ecarediary.com/viewblog.aspx?BlogID=282#aComment52Tue, 17 Aug 2010 11:53:27 GMTThe most outragous behavior was certainly not that of Steven Slater but that if the District Attorney who leveled these truly outragous charges.  Facing 7 years in prison.  You must be kidding.  I can't imagine this egregious waste of public funds. No that's outragous.  Howard Baileshttp://www.ecarediary.com/viewblog.aspx?BlogID=282#aComment51Mon, 16 Aug 2010 17:24:49 GMTThank you for your article about family dynamics. A neutral (impartial) outside party IS ideal in helping families to communicate.<br /> <br /> Your list of professionals did not include the most basic neutral expert available - the mediator!&nbsp; Elder mediators understand family dynamics, elder issues AND use a process that is ideal for resolving difficult family disputes.<br /> <br /> Geriatric care managers are excellent trouble-shooters within family situations (and great for assessment, care planning and resource identification), but they are NOT neutral!&nbsp; Geriatric care managers advocate for the older adult (within the family environment), as do social workers. Certainly, GCM's oversee family meetings and can often provide education and recommendations to get everyone on the same page. &nbsp; I am not familiar with a family transition coach - so not sure if they coach the group of people in a neutral manner or not.<br /> <br /> The role of a mediator is&nbsp; specifically to help a group of parties resolve a dispute without taking sides.&nbsp; Without a process (mediators are process experts) the really tough&nbsp; family "conversations" may not proceed appropriately, no matter how expert the facilitator in elder care issues.&nbsp; It really is about the way that the meeting is set-up, and the true neutrality of the facilitator that works. And, mediators are ONLY involved in the dispute resolution activity - they do not maintain an ongoing relationship with any of the parties so the mediation role is very well-defined, which works as a major advantage toward "resolving".&nbsp; <br /> <br /> And, if a family gets involved in mediation INSTEAD of going to court - the results are not only considerably less expensive, but also the mediation often results in mending relationships and helping the family to act more harmoniously in the future than a court&nbsp; setting would. <br /> <br /> That said - there is definitely overlap between different professions!<br /> <br /> <strong style="font-size: 12px;">For more information, please see my article comparing elder mediators, geriatric care managers, elder law attorneys and counselors/therapists at:<br /> <br /> http://www.mediate.com/articles/reinbergD1.cfm<br /> <br /> </strong>Thank you!<br /> <br /> -- Debbie Reinberg<br /> Elder Mediator/Geriatric Care Manager<br /> <br /> debbie@elderesolutions.com <br style="font-size: 12px;" /> <br /> debbie reinberghttp://www.ecarediary.com/viewblog.aspx?BlogID=280#aComment50Tue, 03 Aug 2010 10:02:15 GMTIt is a difficult decision.&nbsp; In my case my mother's ideas of what she can and can't do are not realistic.&nbsp; When I ask her to come with me to the store, for example, she says:&nbsp; 'I'll just stay here darling."&nbsp; So I tell her that I want her company.&nbsp; She doesn't remember that she is so frail and at risk for falls that she can't be left alone at all.&nbsp; Her perception of her competence is way off.&nbsp; <br /> <br /> She also doesn't realize that if something happens to her I can be held liable.&nbsp; I don't know what your dad is capable of.&nbsp; But Mr. Brooks' comment that he should be allowed "to do his own thing" may not be realistic.&nbsp; It is a tough decision.<br /> <br /> If your father is on Medicare, his doctor can order more home health, perhaps from another agency.&nbsp; Each agency has limits on what they can do.&nbsp; But when another agency steps in, it all starts over.&nbsp; It really helps me to have someone bathe my mother several times a week.&nbsp; I can do it, but it gives me a few minutes to myself.<br /> <br /> Ruth<br /> <br /> http://www.caregiverdiary.org<br /> <br /> Ruth Capershttp://www.ecarediary.com/viewblog.aspx?BlogID=271#aComment49Wed, 28 Jul 2010 16:55:41 GMTI have read and think that dad should be allowed to move out and do his own thing!! Bob Brookshttp://www.ecarediary.com/viewblog.aspx?BlogID=271#aComment48Sun, 11 Jul 2010 13:38:55 GMTThank you for your comments, Ali and Carol.  Parents can be very convincing on the phone.  It's wise to have an objective person such as a geriatric care manager assess the situation.  Without planning, things can quickly spiral downward and out of control.  Isn't it better to be in a position to make informed choices, whenever possible? maureen hildebrandhttp://www.ecarediary.com/viewblog.aspx?BlogID=263#aComment47Mon, 05 Jul 2010 21:54:24 GMTThe solution to the long distance caregiving conundrum for us was a wonderful geriatric care manager who was there and able to report to us objectively about my father's needs and status.&nbsp; For years, she visited once a month, and then, when he needed more help, she arranged for him to get it.&nbsp; The day that he needed to move from his home into assisted living, her crew was there responding before we could have possibly been there.&nbsp; We are immensely grateful for everything that she contributed to his well being and our peace of mind.<br /> Carol Leavenworthhttp://www.ecarediary.com/viewblog.aspx?BlogID=263#aComment46Mon, 05 Jul 2010 01:39:58 GMTYou are very right that the end always seems to come too soon.&nbsp; Even though we were expecting Dad to leave us, we were not ready.&nbsp; We had not finished saying everything we wanted to say.&nbsp; Some of us had not managed be there as we had wished.&nbsp; Dad left us before we could fuss over him and before we could say our good-byes as we wanted.&nbsp; He left us in his own time.<br /> <br /> I was immensely blessed to have the support of my husband Bill during the years I was primary caregiver to my dad.&nbsp; Bill was everything I needed him to be.&nbsp; He was there wholeheartedly for me and for Dad.<br /> <br /> We have shared a photo of Dad in 1945 wearing his army uniform at our blog Inside Aging Parent Care www.desperatecaregivers.com&nbsp; <br /> Carol Leavenworthhttp://www.ecarediary.com/viewblog.aspx?BlogID=257#aComment45Mon, 05 Jul 2010 01:28:45 GMT