One of the toughest conversations a caregiver has to hold is telling a loved one they need help caring for themselves. I faced this discussion about 4 years with my father who was suffering from Parkinson’s disease at the time.
The process of determining the long term care needs of your loved one, breaking the news to them that they need help and setting up the services should be deliberate and done with care. It is important that you provide the care recipient with the help they need without breaking their spirit. I have outlined some tips to help you deal with this difficult process.
- Can the Patient Perform Activities of Daily Living (ADLs)? – Activities of Daily Living are the self care actions we perform for ourselves everyday and include bathing, dressing, undressing, cooking, eating, walking, using the toilet and getting in and out of a chair or bed. If you notice that your loved one has a problem performing one or more of these ADLs then he or she needs some form of long term care.
- Begin the Conversation Early– Chances are you will need to have multiple conversations with your loved one before they will agree to receive long term care so begin the conversation as soon as you notice they are having problems. Remember the person you are setting up care for has been caring for themselves for most of their life so the idea of receiving long term care is going to be frustrating, frightening and humiliating. It is important to be sensitive to their needs and feelings as you discuss the situation.
- Understand Their Wishes – Many people needing long term care have desires that need to be met, the most common wish being not wanting to leave their home. Include them in the care decision by asking if they want to stay in their home, attend adult day care or move to an assisted living facility. The last place people needing long term care want to end up is a nursing home although it maybe unavoidable depending on the illness. As a caregiver, meeting your loved one’s wishes will make everyone happier so do everything you can to accommodate them.
- Determine the Type of Care That Is Needed – Once you have determined that your loved one needs long term care, you must make a decision about what type of care they will need. You may be able to determine this yourself based on the number of ADLs the person can perform. If you need professional assistance in determining care needs, a social worker is generally the best person to make the determination. Many home health agencies, assisted living facilities and other care providers will make a social worker available to perform an assessment prior to setting up services. Check with them to determine whether the cost will be covered by insurance.
- Setting Up Care – Once you have determined the type of care needed, you need to find someone to provide it. eCare Diary has a search engine to help you find care providers in your area. Click here to find them.
- Monitoring Care – Most people who need long term care are suffering from a chronic and/or degenerative condition so monitoring their care and progress is important. Chances are they will need less care at the beginning and more as the illness advances so staying on top of this will be a key part of your role as a caregiver. Make sure you keep the patient informed of their condition since having their buy-in will make any changes in care easier.