Caregiving Expert, Margery Pabst
Answer:
It’s all about matching up people with the tasks they like to do. Focus on the needs of your potential carers first, and then you have a better chance of getting their support.
First, make a list of the daily and weekly tasks you complete.
Be as specific as possible as this attention to detail will help you. For example, rather than writing down, “Do the laundry”, write down “Clean bedding, “Iron bedding”, “Wash out lingerie”, “Take wool clothes to the dry cleaner”. The benefits of being specific may encourage your siblings to want to pitch in. For example, your brothers will not want to wash lingerie, but they might be willing to take clothes to the dry cleaner and pick them up. The list of tasks will take longer to create but, in the end, you will probably get more willing helpers.
Second, review your list and identify what you like to do and don’t like to do in your caregiving role. Your two lists will help you identify what you want to delegate.
Third, consider your siblings skills and interests. Develop a chart that helps you analyze skills and interests for yourself and for your siblings. Also consider other issues like time commitments that will influence their ability to help.
Name : You
Skills : Gardening, Sewing
Interests : Reading mysteries
Other: Timing issues re: yoga class
Name : Brother # 1
Skills : Finance, planning and organizing
Interests : Skiing, model trains
Other : Time constraints during the week
Name : Brother # 2
Skills : Librarian
Interests : Traveling
Other : Travels once a quarter for at least a week, Job during day
Name : Sister # 3
Skills : Accountant and works at home
Interests : Focus on her 3 children’s extracurricular activities
Other : Available during parts of the day, especially afternoons
Name : Sister # 4
Skills : Retired and does lots of volunteering
Interests : Arts volunteer at symphony and museum
Other : Travels to Europe in the summer
Be even more specific on your chart than the examples provided to be more successful at enlisted support. For example, instead of writing “gardening”, write “planting vegetables for fresh salads” for yourself.
Third, identify the tasks listed in the first list and sorted by “What I like to do” and “What I don’t like to do”. Try to delegate as many of the ones you don’t like to do to a brother or sister whose skills and interests fit the task.
Finally, remember this will not be a perfect solution but organizing your thoughts will help you be specific about what is needed and will help you see the possibilities for delegation.
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