This week, I entered Florida Hospital, Main Campus, and immediately saw an act of quiet, small caring. It touched my heart. There on a sofa sat an elderly couple, the wife wiping away a crumb from her husband’s upper lip. Although I was several feet away, I noticed the tenderness as she folded the tissue and raised it to his mouth. Clearly, that simple loving touch was shared often by them, and I am sure, that over the years, he reciprocated with daily simple gestures of appreciation.
A wave of something resembling humility also passed over me as I realized that this couple has so much to teach all of us about those simple gestures that have great impact. Watching for the little things makes a big difference to our learnings about kindness and caregiving. I know I learn more from the individuals and audiences with whom I come in contact than they learn from me. Sometimes we witness behaviors that make us think, “Well, I don’t want to be that kind of person” or “I’d never say that to another human being!” However, more often than not, we see tender moments between family members that are a model for how to act with grace during difficult times.
Think about a situation you’ve witnessed that taught a key lesson for your life. As you consider a memorable moment, ask yourself:
-when did it occur?
-where did it occur?
-how did it instruct your personal life and well-being?
As I get older and (wiser?), I often wonder whether I open myself to observing others in the way that I did when I was a caregiver and younger professional person. One of my personal goals is to keep that fresh outlook for opportunities and moments when I can learn from others. I try to catch myself if I get too “set in my ways” or complacent with what I’m doing. If my words resonate with you, then consider ways to pull yourself from a complacent frame of mind to a more ‘mindful observation’ of others.
What are some ways for creating ‘mindful observation’ so we can learn from those around us?
-Find a few moments each day to observe others.
-Take a few moments to sit at the coffee shop, the mall, or other public places to observe people.
-Watch for small kindnesses. (When you look for them, you’ll find them all around you.)
-If appropriate, comment on the small kindness and how much you appreciated observing it.
Finding time to observe reminds me how much caregiving has enriched my life. If you’re reading this, you are probably a caregiver too, one who provides the power of the healing touch everyday. Watching that power in others is a powerful affirmation of your value and skill. I encourage you to also write down your observations in a journal. This simple act will remind you of the time and place you paid attention to a ‘little’ but powerful act of caring.
To learn more about how to enhance your life as a caregiver, view Margery Pabst's video at the 2010 AARP Conference here.
Margery Pabst is an author, speaker, and facilitator. She is the co-author of “Enrich Your Caregiving Journey” which won the 2010 “Caregiver Friendly Award” given by Today’s Caregiver Magazine. Her book is packed with tips and tools for both the family and professional caregiver. Margery is the host of eCareDiary’s BlogTalkRadio show, “Caregiver and Physician Conversations”. Her regular column “Ask The Caregiving Coach” is featured on www.project-compassion.org. To find out more about Margery and her book, go to www.pivotalcrossings.com.
