As I try to grasp things that are familiar and I can hold onto, I'm reminded that the only thing that's certain in life is continual change. With that in mind, I turn to the basic principles of Alcoholics Anonymous, which can be adapted to any of life's big challenges. For my purposes, I've substituted the words "changing circumstances" for the word " alcohol" used by AA in Step 1. They say "it's a simple program for complicated people", yet it's a way of life that takes much effort. That's why they say you have to "work the steps."
1.We admitted we were powerless over changing circumstances -- that our lives had become unmanageable.
2.Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
3.Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood God.
4.Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
5.Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
6.Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
7.Humbly asked God to remove our shortcomings.
8.Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
9.Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
10.Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.
11.Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood God, praying only for the knowledge of God's will for us and the power to carry that out.
12.Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to others, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
The steps are meant to be worked in order and the first is easier said than done. How can I, the Orderly One, who likes a place for everything and everything in its place; the Queen of Calm, who wants to stay in control - admit to my life being unmanageable? Where do I begin? When in doubt, like Scarlett O'Hara, I won't think about that right now. "After all, tomorrow is another day."
Instead, I put my focus on the little orange tag that I cut off the lovely boots I just bought with the Macy's gift certificate from my parents...
Sporto Lifestyle:
Play More.
With modern life driven by
technology, free time nearly
as valuable a commodity as
food and air, and happiness
the most desirable goals, we
all need to remember to
"play more".
And, ironically, a recent horoscope told me, "There's an elder inside you and also a wild child. The two will play in harmony, helping you to create and have fun and still stay within the boundaries that are best for you."
Then I read this paraprosdokian phrase: We never really grow up; we only learn how to act in public.
Or - all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.
Wow! I'm liking this concept of play-when can I start? Opportunities are more scarce once children are grown and gone. Without young children to play along with, I have to give my own child within permission to play, be spontaneous and creative. One of the things I love to do is color.
A few years ago, there was a day I was feeling under the weather and took off from work. I walked down my block to a local variety store and purchased a coloring book, crayons, maybe some milk and bread. As the manager rang up my items, he said, "Somebody's going to be busy today." "Oh yes," I said, smiling broadly as I took my brown bag.
Over the past year or so, I've taken to feeding the birds, drawing them into our garden, which I think taps into both the elder and wild child inside me that my horoscope spoke about. It's so much fun to watch them that when it snows, I shovel a path across the grass so I can get to the pot where I put the food. Some varieties that visit in winter are the titmouse, bluejays, cardinals and robins. Our chipmunks are hibernating until Spring.
Word games get a lot of play in our home. Bananagrams makes many appearances when friends are over and I still get a charge out of Mad Libs! I do the daily Jumbles and friends gave me a whole book of them for Christmas. They also made a Christmas mobile with red and green origami penguins because I collect them. It is good to have friends who are child-like, too, and indulge your playful side.
It's as important to make time for play as it is to work. When I don't, I find myself becoming stagnated and feeling cranky. For me, the Sporto motto hits the nail on the head. When I handwrote a letter to a friend several months ago, I wrote pages and pages. This friend refuses to use a computer and still uses a typewriter. As I wrote to him about how complicated everything has become with e-mails and keeping up with social websites, I thought he is very wise not to get into it. How I long for simpler times!
As a start to practicing what I write about for the new year, I'm marking the first playdate on my calendar. It's for the Knickerbocker Ice Festival, January 29th. If it sounds like fun to you, take a look at www.knickerbockericefestival.com. There is much to do and experience. When I'm taking life too seriously, I think of the time my mother uncharacteristically kicked off her shoes, saying, "Oh, lighten up" and I'm back on track again.
Maureen Hildebrand has 10 years’ experience as a Case Manager delivering services to the adult care population in both public and private sectors. She has a Master's in Public Administration with a specialization in government. Maureen is currently working as an Elder Care Consultant based in Putnam Valley, NY and her contact information is seniorservicesspecialist@gmail.com.
