It’s almost
an art form to know when to step in an when NOT to when it comes to being a
care provider for aging loved ones – or even just a loved one who is ill. To begin with, becoming a care provider is
usually an unexpected, unplanned for event.
One day everything can seem fine, and the next day, our parent or
grandparent can be put in a very tough situation and need a lot more support
than anyone expected. Even if we DO have
some time to prepare, the lifestyle change that providing care brings can be
staggering. Literally everyone in your
family is affected, even if your parent or grandparent is able to remain on
their own, in their own home.
And there’s
no manual for becoming a care provider.
Learning how to navigate a loved one’s lifestyle, medical care, and
day-to-day responsibilities is never easy.
Neither is knowing how and when to back off and let them do this
themselves. If your loved one is able to
straighten their own home, for instance, or do their own laundry, then taking
over those responsibilities might send the wrong message. It could tell them, subtly, that you think
they’re incapable of doing for themselves.
Likewise, while your “patient” may be too weak physically to do these tasks, they may be sharp-as-a-whip
mentally, so taking over their decision-making could be demoralizing.
Caring for
a loved one is never easy. Someone’s entire life is going to change, and that
doesn’t just mean the care providers’. Each family must navigate this process
for themselves. And the aging parent or grandparent should be encouraged to participate
in this journey as much as possible. What you all bring to the table is about
supporting them, after all. So taking
the time to hear their needs, concerns and choices becomes a vital and vibrant
part of your path.
To YOUR
family, and your journey,
Susan
Baida, Co-Founder of eCareDiary
http://www.eCareDiary.com
PS: eCareDiary hosts a secure "Care Journal" where young and old can
store their medical information online. It's 100% free, and you can upload your
medical information, etc., and provide your login and password to your family
members. We are never too young or too old to make sure we've communicated our
wishes to our loved ones.
If you are interested, you can register at http://bit.ly/eCareDiary
