Caregivers report that journaling is one of those activities that reduces stress by providing quiet time. Also mentioned is the sense of getting back in touch with oneself as insights are created on the page. Writing does have a way of informing and illuminating what can seem to be a blur of experience for all of us, in whatever role we find ourselves.

One of the questions I get is “How can I take my story and help others with it?” “How can my story have meaning and resonance for others?” It is a classic question and one that professional writers grapple with constantly.

Here is a way to consider those heady questions. Journaling encourages us to be free thinking and to allow thoughts to fall on the page in whatever way they fall. It is an outpouring of our souls, our thoughts, along with observations and feelings of the moment. By its very nature, journaling moves this way and that without the “shape” of a story. Storytelling has a shape intended to provide others with some sort of roadmap; it has a more conscious plan to it with events laid out to provide interest, intrigue, and sometimes advice. Helping others by sharing your thoughts/insights means that your journaling needs to take more the shape of a story.

Here’s how I shape my random thoughts into something that others might reflect on and use. My “stories” are often not very long but events are altered to capture interest and encourage others to reflect on them.

First, I draw a time line of some event, incident, or issue. I physically draw a line on a piece of paper and then along that line list in CHRONOLOGICAL ORDER the sequence of events--a “this happened, then this happened, etc.” approach.

Second, I review the sequence and try to pinpoint a key idea or event in the sequence, something that I or someone else did THAT MADE ALL THE DIFFERENCE to the outcome of the situation. For example, when I was caregiver to my Mother, the sequence of events (in some abbreviated form) were the following:

-Mom is weak and feeling bad.
-Mom is diagnosed with bone cancer.
-Mom is treated with chemo and radiation.
-There is little to no improvement.
-The family and Mom realize that keeping her as comfortable as possible with palliative care is the next step.
-Mom is eager to talk about her life and to reconnect with friends and family, particularly people she hasn’t seen in awhile.
-Dad is averse to having visitors at the house.
-My brother, Jim, and I strategize ways to honor both our parents’ wishes.
-Jim and I develop a strategy to get Dad out of the house before visitors arrive.
-The plan works for the most part.
If I were to tell the story in this chronological sequence, it might be somewhat interesting, but if I select either “Mom is eager to talk abut her life” or “ways to honor both our parents” as a beginning for the story, I have a better chance of making this meaningful to others. I can focus on the “life review and legacy” aspect or “the need to honor your parents’ values” as the central theme of my story.

I encourage you to try this right now. If you are already journaling, then turn to a few pages in the journal, list a sequence of events on a timeline, and then select a key piece and focus your story around it. If you are not keeping a journal, write a series of events like my example and then decide what key piece in the sequence gave you meaning and enrichment.

As caregivers, helping others by telling your stories can be tremendously rewarding, because your words will not only help the one person hearing it, but will also have the high potential of being shared with others. I have shared my Mom’s story of her desire to review her life and legacy; it has struck a chord many times.

The sheer act of storytelling will also empower you! What do I mean by that? Explaining “how” you made it through, “how” you or your care partner succeeded provides your caregiving relationship with more strength and insight for the next situation you may face. Storytelling can truly become your ‘fuel for transformation’.

Margery Pabst is the co-author of “Enrich Your Caregiving Journey”, a book of over 130 tips for caregivers to take care of themselves while caring for others. Margery will be speaking on the topic “Storytelling: The Fuel for Transformation” at the Eden International Conference to be held in Denver June 13-15. You may find out more about Margery and her book by going to www.pivotalcrossings.com.