There are so many hurdles as our loved ones age. In my grandmother’s case, she had rheumatoid arthritis. She was diagnosed in 1968, the year I was born, and she always said that she was in a slow but steep decline ever since. She turned 50 years old a year after her diagnosis and passed away at seventy-nine years old in 1998.

There were many challenges as my grandmother aged. She couldn’t get into anything below knee level, and sometimes she would spend days on end without leaving her home. But she never lost her spirit – my Grandmother loved being out, seeing people, breathing in the air and having the sun shine on her.  She actually believed the sun had curative properties for her arthritis. She’d sit out in 100 degree weather pointing her elbows and joints in the direction of the golden hot sun.

In some ways, we were lucky – my grandmother was very open about her pain; she asked for help and accepted help because she wanted to live a full and active life.  She loved going out on the town.  She didn’t care how much pain she was in as long as she could get out even for a car ride to the grocery store.  She’d sit and wouldn’t mind waiting in the car just so that she could get out of the house.  Sitting at home was like death to her.

All these years later, working in the field of advanced aging leads me to one big conclusion about this – and a few humble tips about aging in America. My conclusion? My Grandma was not unique. Her generation was raised at a time when you toughed it out. Unlike our generation, who publicly works through the most intimate issues of our lives – on everything from the 5 o’clock news to support groups – their generation would stoicly throw their chin in the air and say things like, “It is what it is.”  Precisely. 

Aging in home and remaining independent are VERY important to the aging population here in America, and helping our loved ones to accomplish this is equally important to the baby boomers (and everyone, I think). There are some very complicated and sophisticated things that we MUST address as families, communities and even as a nation (like healthcare, nutrition, quality of life, etc.).  But there are other things that can ONLY be addressed locally, like lifestyle. THOSE are the issues where all of us can make a difference when it comes to advanced aging.

Take the time to TALK to your aging loved ones and your families about this. If your mom or dad or grandparent wants to age in home, help them to make the simple changes that they need before it becomes impossible or humiliating to them. Start moving things OUT of those bottom cabinets and shelves, and help them to simplify tasks like grocery shopping and trash removal. Be sure that YOU (and everyone else who needs to) KNOWS their medical history and who their medical providers are. Don’t be afraid to talk about the MOST important things, like health care proxies.

Finally, remember that you have sphere’s of influence in your life. Think outside the box. Aging in America is a much bigger issue than your parents or grandparents. Consider your neighborhood and the other communities in your life, like your church or synagogue. Look around. Who’s having trouble getting up and down? Who uses a cane or a walker? Befriend those people – be available to them. Chances are that the simplest tasks, like carrying groceries, has become more challenging than we could imagine at thirty, forty, fifty or even sixty.  Take the TIME to be perceptive enough to see the unspoken, sometimes even secret needs of those who may be too proud to even ask for help. Sometimes offering is all it takes. 

Susan Baida, Co-Founder of eCareDiary
http://www.eCareDiary.com

PS:  If you are involved in a care facility, please feel free to reach out to us to get your organization and your patients set up – eCareDiary is a powerful tool, and we’re here to support you, your patients and their loved ones. http://www.eCareDiary.com