I am Barb's Sister, Caregiver,
Mother and Daughter.
naked emotions.
Oversize floral caftans,
huge fuzzy animal slippers,
And lots of love.
Straight hair pinned on her head,
lock falling over nose.
Let me fix.
Full of sunshine and energy,
Lively and talkative
I'm sleepsitting.
She's loves sour cream jamwiches,
buckets of chocolate,
I gain her weight.
She walks super fast to show she's
upset, trips and falls.
and hurts us both.
Fishes for reassurance she's not "as
mental" as she once was.
Get better bait.
She sees herself as a six year old child
in a sixty-six year old's body
Please grow up.
Surprises us by being a "brownie", "I don't
want to be told what to do".
Grownups need structure.
Says she's too sleepy, too lazy to use
her bedside potty at night.
Wash your own clothes.
Something falling to the floor makes her yelp
in surprise. Screams are"venting".
Re-invent your venting.
Prone to nosebleeds, picking her nose, scared
of "blood floods" Her doctor knows.
Pick nose with foot.
She sees herself as the butterfly in the rainforest
the blame for all of life's problems.
Only God is that powerful.
Choose your words carefully lest she take them
wrong and use them against herself.
Eggshell trotting.
Overly helpful, she will heat water for you
while she heats some for her cocoa.
Thank you Barb.
Brings a jar of coffee "here you go!" to the table.
Next, a spoon. "Here you go!"
Thank you Barb.
Envelope of sweetener. "Here you go!" Cocoa
to put in the coffee. "Here you go!"
Thank you Barb.
Coffee creamer. "Here you go!" More coffees
for variety. "Here you go!"
Thank you Barb.
Cold water - "here you go!" A variety of teas
"just in case". "Here you go!"
Thank you Barb.
Barb tries to make herself indispensible.
She only wants to make you happy .
Please sit and relax, Barb.
Thanking Barb for her givingness,
she says "it's just my heart".
My heart needs enlarging.
You could start feeling very obliged
and helpless without her.
I can do it, Barb.
She wants to become so necessary
you would never let her leave.
We love you, Barb.
She is terrified of being alone again or of
being put in another mental hospital.
This will not happen.
Firm, compassionate, understanding
is what she needs.
And what she gets.
"I just need you to be on MY side"
is her constant refrain.
We are here.
She needs love, structure, firmness,
understanding listening ears
and heaps of patience.
We' ve found that, despite our shared
mental and emotional suffering
we now, through Jesus,
have an incredible future to joy in.
We need not live in our past.
Praise God.
